The reality is that there are more than 40 million women who are the primary caregivers for a sick person and very often that person is the man that they’re married to. This is often an “expected” role for the wive and most accept it as a duty that they have to handle. What we often lose sight of is the onslaught of emotions that this brings to the wife.
This article from the New York Times discusses how it can be a “roller coaster ride from hell”. Often, the caregiver is addressing concerns about “how’s he doing” rather than questions about this own wellbeing from friends. As the article points out,
“Under the best of circumstances, she faces disruptions in her usual work and social life, sleep habits, exercise routine, household management and financial situation. In addition to a loss of intimacy, she may be saddled with such unglamorous tasks as cleaning up bathroom accidents, servicing medical equipment and fulfilling challenging dietary needs.
And as one expert put it, for some wives, caregiving is “a roller coaster ride from hell,” with each day bringing new challenges, demands and adjustments. What outsiders see as a gift, the wife may be experiencing as “a dirty little secret,” Diana B. Denholm wrote in “The Caregiving Wife’s Handbook,”recently published by Hunter House.”
This is a very timely and important article. The wonderful writer Jane Brody has reached out to Ms. Denholm for critical expertise on this matter. Ms. Denholm has been an expert in this area and her points and advice about this issue make this vital reading for all. The link to the full article is below and I’d love your thoughts.